I asoone who lives in the darkness. However, I lon for sunliht and hope. 我是一个生活在黑暗中的人，可是我渴望阳光和希望。 I ain the d, but I try best to et out of it without bein stained, to wash clean without bein teted. 我身处在淤泥之中，但是我想尽办法拼尽一切的让自己出淤泥而不染，濯清涟而不妖。 Maybe I ainsane, but a person has to have a belief, a pursuit, a oal, and a direction in life. 也许我不正常，但是一个人活下去就必须有一个信念，有所追求，有一个目标，有一个方向。 That was oal, direction, and drea 这就是我的目标，这就是我的方向，这就是我的梦想。 Althouh pursuit is as difficult as reachin the sky for , althouh such pursuit is easy for ordinary youn ladies born into a little better faly, it is out of reach for soone like . 虽然我的追求于我来说难于登天，虽然这样的追求对于一般出生稍微好一点的姑娘们来说是唾手可及的，但是于我这样的人来说却是可望而不可及的。 I could only bla self for not bein able to reincarnate well. Why did I have to be born into such a faly? 怪只怪我不会投胎，为什么偏偏要生在那样的家庭？ We were penniless and starvin. It was a blessin for us to row up without any disabled. 家徒四壁，忍饥挨饿，能四肢发达没有残疾的长大都是万幸。 I shouldn''''t have entered this industry. I was youn and inorant at that ti. I just wanted to study calliraphy and didn''''t want to be illiterate. However, I de one stake after another. 怪只怪我不该入了这个行业，当初年少无知，只想着能读书习字就好，不做一个文盲就好，可是一步错，步步错。 Back then, I could have entered another industry. I could be a id of soone. That would be a hundred tis better than what I anow! 当年我不一定非要入这个行业，我可以去做婢女，去做丫头，也比现在好百倍呀！ I could only bla self for bein teted by ney. The salary here was hih, and I deserved it for bein short-sihted. 怨只怨当初被金钱诱惑，这里的工钱给得高，我目光短浅活该如此。 As a child, biest wish was to have enouh food and warclothes. Later, I wanted to learn how to read and write, and then I wanted to earn re ney and beco rich. Now, I want to be a pure and innocent irl, a norl and virtuous wife and have an ordinary life. I want to rry a n who loves and is worth love, have children, and live a happy life with faly. 小时候我最大的愿望是能吃饱饭，能穿暖衣，后来我想要读书习字，后来我想要赚更多的钱，成为一个富人，现在我只想做一个清清白白的姑娘，成为一个普普通通的良家女子，有着一个寻寻常常的人生，嫁一个爱我也值得我爱的男人，生下属于自己的孩子，一家人开开心心快快乐乐。 However, I was not fated to do that in this life! 可是这些和我似乎今生无缘！ "I''''reedy. I''''too reedy. My oal has always been chanin, and I want to et re and re, re and re out of reach." 是我贪，是我太贪了，我的目标一直在变化，而且想要得到的越来越多，越来越遥不可及。 As lon as I was content, I could live happily ever after. 但凡我知足些，也许我就能过得很快乐。 There was no need to overthink. It was difficult for to fall asleep, and the pillow was wet with tears. 不必像现在一样，优思过度，彻夜难眠，枕头上是泪水打湿了的痕迹。 Why was it that even if I had such an unreconciled heart, I was unwillin to accept fate and the current situation? 为什么我就算有这么一颗不甘的心，不甘于命运，不甘于现状。
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