As dauhters of the Cui faly, blessed with innate intellience and nurtured by deliberate cultivation, we often see thins that ordinary people cannot. I saw his situation and the possible future he ht have, so frothe beinnin, even if it wasn''''t for Zhan Guoyin, I would have resisted lovin hi 崔家的女儿蕙质兰心，又加上后天的刻意培养，我们往往能看出一些常人看不到的事情。我看出了他的处境，也看出了他很可能会有的未来，所以一开始即使不是因为张国英我也会心中抗拒去爱他。 No, that''''s not entirely accurate. As a dauhter of the Cui faly, if it weren''''t for Zhan Guoyin, I would have approached hifor personal ains, like aunt. Ultitely, I ht have used hi only to lose heart and shatter soul. 不，也不是全部，我是崔家的女儿，如果没有张国英，我也会像姑姑一样为了利益去接近他，最后估计很可能如对待张国英一样，利用他却也让自己丢了心，断了魂。 I inherited aunt''''s teachin, but I lacked her cold deternation. My aunt has always loved power and status, and she has never wavered in that reard, but I have. 我得了姑姑的亲传，可是我却没有姑姑的冷静执着。姑姑爱的从来都是权利和地位，这一点，她从来都没有变过，而我却变了。 I couldn''''t bear this n who initially captured affection and treated with tenderness, care, and devotion. I would unknowinly let self fall for hi becon etionally attached. 我受不了这个原本就让我心生好感并且对我温柔呵护，照顾有加的男人。我会不知不觉让自己沦陷，从而爱上对方，从而感情用事。 My love runs deep, but it has never been passionate, never like a th drawn to a fla. 我的爱很深很深，但是从来都不是轰轰烈烈的，从来都不会是飞蛾扑火的。 For exale, when Zhan Guoyin left, I knew I loved and cared for hi However, after weihin the pros and cons, I realized stayin was better than leavin, so I stayed. 比如张国英的离去，我知道自己爱他，自己在意他，但是在权衡利弊之下留下比离开好，所以我留下了。 My love was rational and always accoanied by reason. 我的爱有着理智，并且始终带着理智。 If not for Liu Hao''''s pursuit, this n I both loved and feared, I ht never have one lookin for Zhan Guoyin in entire life. I would have forever kept love for Zhan Guoyin deep in heart. When I thouht of hi I would walk under the beonia flowers, which would have sufficed for a lifeti. 如果不是因为刘昊的追求，这个让我又爱又怕的男人，我也许这一辈子都不会去找张国英，我会把对张国英的这份爱永远地埋藏于心里。想他的时候就到海棠花下去散散步，就这样这一辈子就足够了。 When I encountered Liu Hao, I had no choice but to find Zhan Guoyin. At that nt, findin hiwas best option. 就是因为遇到了刘昊，让我不得不去找张国英。因为此时我只有去找他，才是我最好的出路。 If I hadn''''t t Zhan Guoyin, I ht have loved Liu Hao and possibly devoted life to hi advancin and retreatin toether, strivin toether, devisin strateies for hi and pacifyin the world. However, because of Zhan Guoyin''''s presence, I felt that it would be a betrayal if I fell in love with soone other than hi Zhan Guoyin could rry and love soone else first, but I couldn''''t allow self to be that person. 如果没有遇到张国英，我很可能会爱他，并且很可能会倾尽一生与他共同进退，共同拼搏，为他出谋划策，平定四方。可是因为有了张国英这一个人，我感觉如果我爱上了张国英以外的人，那么对张国英就是背叛，他张国英可以先结婚，先爱上别人，但是我不能允许我自己做那个第一人。 I wasn''''t entirely sure if Zhan Guoyin still felt the sa way about when I went to Lianzhou in the future. He ht have fallen in love with soone else or even rried by now. Nevertheless, I wanted to find out for self. If that were the case, I would quietly leave, foret hi and put hiout of nd for the rest of life. 去凉州我也不是很确定张国英对我还是如初，他说不定爱上了别人，说不定已经有了妻子，可是我还是想自己去确定一下，如果他真的如此，那么我也会一个人默默地离开，把他忘记，一辈子忘掉。
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